4 January 2013 Comments Off on LGS Post 55: Uprooting Issues With Guidance, Part 3: Orientation Toward Guidance

LGS Post 55: Uprooting Issues With Guidance, Part 3: Orientation Toward Guidance

The shadow side of needing Guidance involves our inner conflicts about receiving direction. OWNING these conflicts is essential to clarity.

Sometimes my Guidance directs me to do something I don’t feel like doing at the time. This thing could be huge or almost trivial.

Oddly, moment-to-moment directives can feel more intense than Guidance about major life situations. Getting the ego to DO something different, right in this very moment, pushes on habit patterns and personality.

The example that comes to mind is when my Guidance nudges me to do my spiritual practices when parts of me want to avoid doing them. I may not want to stop what I’m doing at the moment, dive into feeling, feel vulnerable, give up whatever attitude I’m wearing, or exert the effort to be fully present. Of course that’s when I most need to do practices. (I just stopped and did them when I read this while editing.)

Being flexible and open in theory can differ widely from acting it out. This discrepancy is similar to the way we may feel a great deal of love for someone and then pull it inside when we actually speak with them. Conflict, resistance, fear, or merely the force of habit exert themselves as if from behind a curtain. Staying present and maintaining self-observation at such moments can be challenging. Doing so is a big step toward a real breakthrough.

Huge decisions tend to make us welcome Guidance. Huge decisions usually require gradual adjustments through a series of efforts over a period of time. Guidance about future actions is more abstract than moment-to-moment Guidance. We can put off taking real action and enjoy the idea of action. We give ourselves more latitude about big things.

Avoidance is rarely kind. It prolongs difficulty. If a tooth hurts and needs to come out, going directly to the root of the problem and handling it fast is less painful than putting it off or chipping away at it.

Compassion allows us to work toward our best in stages instead of blaming ourselves when we feel incapable of taking action. Feeling bad about not taking action doesn’t count. It’s just “going out the guilt door.”

“Going out the guilt door” means using guilt to escape responsibility. Indulging guilt or shame until they shut down constructive feeling and Guidance is a huge distraction. We ramp up negative emotions and USE them to avoid insights and action. Ironically, these are the very insights and actions we would feel great about actually pursuing. Also, we do not actually escape the responsibility, we prolong the length of time it’s in our lives.

What works is to relax your way out of self blame or guilt instead of pushing on it or forcing yourself and intensifying your conflict. Let yourself notice them, feel them, yet keep flowing by focusing on what you truly want in your heart. They flow out as you get in touch with the whole context, and your state changes to a more constructive standpoint.

If you cannot get yourself to do what you know is right, just focus on the one small positive step you ARE willing to DO in the moment. Do what you can get yourself to do. Any step is good. If you do it consistently you begin to develop real will.

Following from my example, if I am avoiding spiritual practice and I can get myself to do three minutes, or even thirty seconds, my resistance tends to relax. Not only do I find myself often willing to do more, but I have softened my resistance to beginning, and it’s easier to do next time around.

Real will is true freedom. Real will allows us to DO what we actually find most meaningful because we have enough self mastery to follow through. I’m not talking about forcing yourself. I’m talking about building a platform for integrated action by being self-aware. 
Moving toward putting Guidance into action (and simply noticing when you cannot) is a big step in the direction of real will.

Guidance DEVELOPS will rather than taking it over.

The most important ability to develop regarding Guidance and free will is an ability to recognize and feel or hear all of parts of ourselves without judging them. When we can view the parts of ourselves that want to respond to the Guidance and the parts that want to resist or ignore it and just BE with that mix, we can remain open to Guidance whether or not we are afraid.

Accepting ourselves in wholeness allows us to receive Guidance without shame or guilt, whether or not we are ready to follow it.

(The comments on previous text both show this process in action.)

What might you be unwilling to know about yourself?

How could this bias your ability to receive accurate Guidance?

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