Positive Energy Guide

Part 3 discuses dealing with destructive criticism. I know some of you may be in situations in which others criticize you ruthlessly and without constructive intent.

Even mean and vile criticism can be used for good if you are strong enough to do so. If you are not, do your best to develop skills to deflect it while working to take yourself out of the situation.

I was once in a situation during which someone with a personality disorder yelled criticism and blame at me continuously for several hours. Escape would have been quite difficult. This situation was unusual in that I was fairly certain it would occur before I put myself into it, and prepared myself in advance, with help from my primary healer.

I took the situation on as a spiritual practice. My job was to keep the energy centers in my body flowing correctly, without letting them flip or twist from their balanced positions. Keeping the energy centers or chakras balanced can keep you feeling safe and able to function with clarity. The ability to do this obviously has prerequisites, such as being able to sense your energy centers well enough to feel their positions, and staying in your body during discomfort. If you do not know how to do this, the tips in Part Two help with the psycho-emotional aspects of managing criticism.

Here is what I did inside during the two-hour flood of criticism:

• I relaxed my body as completely as possible.
• I watched to make sure I was breathing evenly and began breathing in and out of my heart.
• I reached out inside for the people who loved me, imagining them with me and feeling connected.
• I took care to stay focused in my body.
• I reminded myself that the person hurling criticism was in pain.
• I kept compassion present for both of us.
• I let the criticism flow around me, breathing in love and safety.
• I made note of several grains of truth to contemplate gently under better circumstances.
• I stayed with my own experience and withdrew my impulses to assist, judge, or manage the other person.
• I reminded myself of my better qualities to counterbalance the input.
• I nurtured my inner child.
• I reminded myself that I am loveable whether or not I have flaws, and that no one can hurt my self esteem as an adult unless I participate.

Learning to remain in the situation without allowing myself to be damaged was similar to an initiation. It solidified something inside me that could only be worked against intensity in order to become established. After going through this I remained much more able to stay WITH myself and in my body during uncomfortable situations, and to keep my energy intact instead of being frayed by other people’s issues.

Understand that the ability to keep one’s self safe, at an energy level as well as emotionally, is complex. I had been working on and off for years to develop in my energy systems the frequencies and patterns that allow one to experience safety. So please don’t throw yourself into situations that you are not prepared to manage.

Removing yourself from destructive circumstances is your responsibility unless you are able to use them to your spiritual or personal growth advantage.

Have you had an experience where you used your own or someone else’s criticism of you to improve your life? If so, feel free to share how you worked with yourself to make this possible.