Using Anger Positively
Question: “Is there a particular place/article on your site that I could go to get insight/strategies/direction on how to really get rid of the anger that keeps coming up. I try to do the work, monitor thoughts etc. but I do not feel like I have had any breakthrough.”
My Response: Getting rid of an emotion is like shooting the messenger. When we seek to get rid of an emotion we lose the opportunity to learn about who we are and what we need.
As with all powerful emotions, anger provides information about yourself and your needs. As you learn to handle anger according to its origin in yourself, you can use your anger in your personal work to increase self-awareness, direct your activities, and support optimum health.
The difference between suppression–including suppressive therapies or belief systems—and real self-integration hinges on our ability to observe ourselves with neutrality. Self-observation without condemnation allows us to eventually embrace ourselves in our entirety.
Let’s talk about some of the possible origins of anger and how to address them. Here are a few examples:
Physical causes: Excess energy in your liver can make you angry. Excess liver energy can be balanced several different ways, bringing more ease and peace. If it comes from a toxic load, reduce toxins and use supplements that support liver clearance.
Constitutional causes: If your liver gets over-stimulated owing to the way your system customarily manages survival, related to a lot of strong energy around trying to get things done, this energy can be balanced by strengthening lung functions. Breathing practices and creating clear structure and order in your life can calm this down.
Emotional causes: Anger is a most often a reaction to persons or situations. Explore exactly and specifically what it is that sets you off. What is it about yourself that comes up when you get set off? How can you support the needs, boundaries, fears, or communication that will bring you relief when you first begin to feel the distress that later flares up and becomes anger?
Energy-based techniques like EFT and others tap on acupuncture points related to the liver and gall bladder to reduce and eliminate anger. ThoughtField Therapy and EMDR address the energy and origins of trauma, which can underlie anger. Resolving your “triggers” can reduce anger by allowing you to remain more balanced. I would call this “addressing” anger, not “getting rid of it.” This focus is positive and integrative, not suppressive.
Mental element: The parts of you that speak through your anger may become more aggravated if you shut them out. “Monitoring thoughts” is a sticky wicket. Maintaining a constructive outlook is helpful. Trying to prevent yourself from thinking and feeling what you think and feel interferes with self-observation and leads to suppression and dissociation. Try gently steering the parts of yourself that produce thoughts you do not like into avenues of exploration that will support what they actually need.
Beware of perfectionism. It is generally driven by childhood issues and antagonistic to compassion.
Life situation: The liver can become irritated when we need to set better boundaries. When anger begins to surface, ask yourself how you might structure your life and your time to change circumstances that stimulate anger. Rather than getting rid of your anger, alter your circumstances, or the way you respond within them.
Watch yourself in your daily life and see if you can catch the exact moment when your anger shows up. See if you can discover what your anger is asking you to do for yourself; what you need for balance or relief. Now you can address your need with compassion.
Regardless of its origins, the energy of anger can be channelled into constructive expression that leads to improvements in your life. Find a positive motivation or a change to make that will uproot your anger at its cause. This might involve changing your circumstances, setting a boundary, or learning to speak your needs in a timely manner.
If you cannot find the sources of your anger, call for an appointment and I will help you to discover them.
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