Positive Energy Guide

Unusually Intense Relationships

Compulsive intensity fueled by the needs and desires I listed in Part 1 can make us feel that a relationship is “meant to be.” While enthralled (enchanted, fascinated) it is easy to feel that for our love to fully express itself that it has to be forever. Many also feel or believe that having a very strong intuitive connection with someone means we are “supposed to be” partners.

All love lasts forever, whether or not we are together. I am not recommending taking relationships lightly, or implying that I do not believe in lasting marriage. I am saying that relationships serve different purposes to the soul. Intensity does not automatically mean permanence. Relationships that are too intense to sustain a healthy lifestyle can have a learning function but drain you if they go on too long. When underlying lessons are mastered or we begin to lose our overall sense of life purpose such a relationship generally ends.

Some of us require unusually intense relationships and experiences to bring out strengths, wisdom, and life skills. Infatuation and even abuse may have spiritual purposes in the course of a life.

Transformation can occur from entering into relationships that are beyond our comfort zones. Almost nothing except intense love and attraction can seduce us to stay in a situation long enough to gain some of the benefits of these particular relationships. It remains our responsibility to keep ourselves safe and intact to the best of our abilities.

The measure of success in a relationships destined to transform is not by lasting forever. Success shows in raising our level of awareness, increasing our wisdom, and learning things that enhance our purposes in life. These relationships are doorways, not living rooms.

“Victims” of failed or overdrawn transformative processes become pale, weak, and marginally invested in life. This is not from love. This is from loss of vital force. Loss of vital force means we have less to contribute to the world and cannot move toward goals that make us happy until we build our energy back up.

If you are in a compulsively intense relationship it is critically important to tune in to your inner sense of guidance, not needy old wounds, to determine whether the risks of this relationship are worth your potential growth. Sometimes mastering the lesson means successfully getting out.

Pay attention to what you are giving your life blood to. As with vampires, we initially invite relationships in. If we become ongoing victims, we are generally victims of our own wounds, which create internal pressures compelling us to invest in relationships that do not serve our ongoing.

Please share this post with those who need it.

Has a relationship you could not sustain contributed to your understanding and served your life purposes? What did you learn or what became possible for you after going through it?