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25 May 2012 5 Comments

LG Series 25: Where Does Guidance Come From? Part 2, Beyond Theories and Explanation

LG Series 25: Where Does Guidance Come From? Part 2, Beyond Theories and Explanation

Let’s take a quick look at opinions about Guidance and moving beyond them into actual experience:

Some say Guidance comes from angels or archangels.

Some say Guidance comes from the departed.

Some say Guidance comes through signs in nature around us.

Some say Guidance comes from your gut or your heart. I would clarify that the gut is instinctual while the heart can carry intuition of a more refined nature.

Some draw Guidance through specific initiatory lines or spiritual systems, connecting with Beings like saints, Masters, prophets, historical religious figures, Egyptian gods, and so forth. These energies may be viewed as archetypal energies one taps into, or as actual Beings. Guidance connected with specific sources brings forth a specialized flavor or quality of energy and wisdom.

Some say Guidance comes from God. True enough. All things do–even things we don’t like and can’t trust. Saying you have a direct line to God is dicey. Yes at one level of experience we are all ONE IN God and cannot be separate. This does not mean that at the level of experience of our individual ego awareness we experience God. God experience requires going into unity-consciousness, in which ego takes a seat way in the back, if it enters at all. When you start talking about God there are either way too few words and it stays abstract, or too many concepts, and it gets buried in belief systems. God talk tends to annoy people who do not share your belief system.

Guidance can come from quite a few valid sources. Different individuals tune in better to different types of signals. A number of previous posts have explored some sources that are so natural we tend to overlook them. I left until now the question of where Guidance comes from–in theory.

Theorizing about Guidance may be interesting but in my estimation has very limited real life value. I like to travel short on belief and long on direct experience. Yours may be different than mine. It is my aim to stimulate reflection and experience that is useful to you and to explore Guidance as a whole. Getting tied up in theories and beliefs that divide us and evoke quirky little anxieties does not support direct personal experience of Guidance.

I don’t think we need to make the reality of receiving Guidance complicated, excessively esoteric, or based on any particular set of believes. The ego likes to jump in on the beliefs and come up with scenarios that make one special and different, creating separation and sects. This is spiritually counterproductive.

The key to Guidance is less WHERE Guidance is sourced from and more your ability to:

  • Recognize it
  • Receive it
  • Respond to it at a level that makes a difference in your life

IF you are recognizing and responding to real Guidance and it is coming through clearly, you may or may not perceive “where” it is coming from. Do not hold your experience hostage to intellectual knowing or make anything up. As we covered in previous posts, making things up mucks up your clarity. Fantasy obscures Guidance.

Theories and explanation initially MAY stimulate insight. Becoming wedded to them ties up the mind instead of opening it.

So how do you tell if Guidance is real?

  • It feels clean and clear in your heart
  • It corresponds with your better values
  • You feel more whole and complete responding to it
  • It reduces your level of confusion
  • You feel more embodied and comfortable with yourself
  • If feels on-purpose, on-target, and useful
  • It increases your ability to respond with compassion
  • Practice putting it to the test in everyday life and see whether it works, over and over until you know what it feels like to be on track

I’ll say more about Guides in other posts.

Where do YOU think Guidance comes from?

How important is it to YOU to have an intellectual explanation of or particular belief about the way Guidance comes to you? 

19 May 2012 9 Comments

LG Series Part 24: Where Does Guidance Come From? Part 1: Where Do Thoughts Come From?

LG Series Part 24: Where Does Guidance Come From? Part 1: Where Do Thoughts Come From?

The question about where Guidance comes from rests on the more basic question of where thoughts come from.

During an evening presentation at a ten day meditation retreat one leader gave a Buddhist talk on perception and mind, aiming to get participants to open their experience. Exploring the sources of mind and perception made a potentially useful Zen experience. I’m sure discovering the foundationless ‘origins’ of the same helped open some people’s minds. I found this talk rather dull.

The next evening another leader opened everyone’s hearts with music and story and then asked: ”Are you sure the thoughts in your mind are really yours? And if they are not, whose are they and where do they come from or source from?” He asked for comments from the group.

I sat there for a while with my tongue between my teeth listening, because I’ve spoken out before in places where my thoughts were not welcome. Then I let go of that old baggage and listened so I could better calibrate my participation.

Group comments were pretty much:
“You cannot really tell. You cannot know for sure what’s your mind and what’s another mind.” I expected more from the level of development of many of the people in that room.

I said, “Thoughts also come from the Spirit of Guidance, and your teachers, and the people that you’re closely linked to. All of their thoughts come in. They all have different tones and energies and signatures so you can often recognize their sources.

“In addition to that, different parts of ourselves, with their different genders, ages, and personality–parts that we may be in touch or out of touch with–all have their own different tones and voices and expressions, which become recognizable as self-knowledge increases.”

I felt a little bit overextended. Then the leader thanked me and commented on the wisdom in the room, and my teacher beamed at me with sweet, appreciative love, conveying a strong sense of support, so I knew I was on track.

At one juncture in my life I was taking direct instruction from a different spiritual teacher who used to assign practices and then go away for a few hours while I did them. He would come back and take me to task for things I was thinking an hour or two into the practice. I was on silence (not talking) for about a month during this time. He met with me every few days and systematically answered for me all of the questions that had arisen for me in the meantime. 

Frankly I found it unsettling to realize that we do not technically have any privacy of mind. Upasni Maharaj, a spiritual master from India, used to call the mind, “a public well.”

Of course, in any situation other than direct spiritual Guidance we maintain boundaries that allow for a degree of privacy. We respect people’s minds and don’t intentionally go browsing in there without being invited. Even in sessions, during which clients have agreed to allow me access to their issues, I usually ask before directly ‘going in’ to sense what is going on directly.

As much as we habitually respect the social order in matters of personal space, those of us who are tuned to notice such things often sense it when someone is about to call. I often hear direct statements aimed at me, such as “Will you hand me that salt?” so that the actual request comes in like an echo.

In Family Constellation work the group takes on and plays out the roles of one person’s family. The work establishes a field of energy that contains the mind field of that family. Participants adopt postures and position themselves in the room to intentionally express family relationships. The group explores the energy SUBTEXT of that particular family dynamic.

It is fascinating to begin to sense in your body and perhaps find yourself acting out the emotions and conflicts of the family member you represent–without any cognitive knowledge of them! This can be a bit creepy. As the person whose family is being enacted validates what you bring through it’s a relief.  This type of experience gives a glimpse of the extent to which we are each and all–constantly–influenced by the other minds with which we interconnect.

How have YOU experienced interconnection from mind to mind?

What are your thoughts and feelings about the collective nature of the mind itself?

11 May 2012 4 Comments

Life Guidance Series Part 23: How to Develop Self Trust, Part 3: Going Deeper

Life Guidance Series Part 23: How to Develop Self Trust, Part 3: Going Deeper

Our readiness and willingness to accept clear Guidance changes from situation to situation and moment to moment.

How did you do with the self-tests and checks in Part 2?

Whenever you slide around on those basics, it is an excellent idea to confront and untangle the web of your resistance to Guidance, exactly as it lives in your emotional life. Getting congruent with being honest with yourself can be complicated. It requires commitment over time. The rewards of self trust are well worth it.

Here are several more reasons to do the necessary Inner Work to gain self trust:

  •  You become more deeply integrated and unified inside yourself
  •  You get clear enough to interpret and apply the Guidance you receive without distorting it
  •  You make better life choices
  •  Guidance without self trust leads to mixed agendas and inner conflict
  •  Self-trust reduces stress
  •  You feel more clear and confident.
  •  Self trust develops greater Guidance skills
  •  You understand much more keenly the way other people function
  •  It becomes much easier to recognize when you can trust others

Intensive Inner Work is about getting to know and trust yourself.

When direct Guidance is coming in clearly the type of self-investigation we are discussing may be unnecessary–for that moment in time. Direct Guidance can bypass Inner Work processes–if and when we can allow Guidance in and are willing to act on it.

Direct Guidance can supply insight and direction if and when you are willing to listen–without a lot of soul searching.
So why not rely on Guidance instead of doing all that work?

Inner Work expands your willingness by reducing resistance to Guidance. You become more willing to listen and can do so more of the time in more life circumstances.

Intuitive, spiritual or psychic practitioners who do NOT do the kind of Inner Work I described above could be doing different types of Inner Work through prayer, spiritual practice, other introspective disciplines, or consulting regularly with mentors. Keeping one’s self in true in these ways can be sufficient for some sincere practitioners.

Those who rely on direct Guidance without serious introspection and the checks and balances provided by receiving insight from trusted mentors run the risks of becoming overly influenced by their own blind spots.

Defensiveness, resisting input from others, clinging to perceptions that do not ring true to others, obstructions to personal growth and other imbalances develop when Inner Work is absent. When one puts one’s self in a position of always being the one who knows best and has a special relationship with Guidance it is possible to become misguided or in love with power. These issues are under-addressed in most contexts that help people to develop power and Guidance.

Many of the posts in this series are designed to supply insights, guidelines, practices and habits that maintain a healthy and sustainable relationship with Guidance. You can use the questions at the end of each post like a workbook. Try answering them all in a journal.

Self trust, based on self-observation, inner exploration, compassionate response, and confirmation of results, is not just something you HAVE or even that you earn, but a way of moving through life.

These practices increase self-trust:

  • Do what you say you are going to do. If you cannot, renegotiate clearly.
  •  Keep your word to yourself. If you cannot, be totally honest with yourself about what happened and why.
  •  Practice compassion about your shortcomings. Beating yourself up will set you back by driving aspects of yourself into hiding.
  •  Build a track record of being honest with yourself about what you are doing. No matter is too small to make a difference.
  •  Develop sincerity and authenticity.

If you have not read the Inner Work post series, it is under the Personal Development tab at the top of the page.

In what life arenas do you trust yourself?
What types of emotions or situations do you allow to subvert your ability to access Guidance?

4 May 2012 2 Comments

Life Guidance Series Part 22: How to Develop Self Trust, Part 2: Check Your Willingness

Life Guidance Series Part 22: How to Develop Self Trust, Part 2: Check Your Willingness

When self trust is an issue, check your willingness to be truthful with yourself. This may sound obvious–in theory. In practice, various parts of ourselves hide out, lurk in the background, undermine, obfuscate, complicate, distract, divert, subvert or sabotage insight and Guidance on a regular basis.

Until we seek our Highest Possible Option (see Post #18 in this series) consistently, routinely, and with kind respect for our limitations, self trust remains at issue. Being willing to be aware of our inner wounds and anxieties and to manage our affairs without drama begins to build self trust. This trust forms a foundation for clear and consistent Guidance.

Self trust is difficult when our parts and pieces operate from different agendas. “Congruence” refers to a state of being in agreement, harmony and correspondence. Becoming congruent means being aligned with our selves rather than being driven by and living in conflict due to inharmonious inner agendas.

Mixed motivations lie behind every inner conflict. Inner alignment occurs by becoming aware of these motivations and firmly settling on a course we fully accept and pursue.

Bringing conflicting motivations to light assists with becoming intentional and congruent. This Inner Work takes application until we know ourselves well and accept what we discover.We need not know ourselves completely to trust ourselves, but it is necessary to be willing to become aware and to make compassionate choices when conflict is present.

When seeking Guidance about anything personal, check:

  • Do I feel open and neutral in my body and emotions?
  • Is anything sliding around, tightening, trying to push, or creating bias due to investment in a particular outcome or direction?
  • Am I willing to be honest with myself whether or not I like what I find out about myself or what I need to do?

Suppose you are feeling out whether or not a particular guy/girl would be an appropriate intimate partner. Your odds of being fantasy-free start out next to zip. If you want to save yourself the distress of pursuing someone who won’t work out for you self-honesty is required. But how to get there? . . .

Loving intention is essential. Touch in with your values. Then use whatever techniques you have at hand such as EFT (tapping technique), spiritual practice, energy-clearing, or simply committed intention. Address each feeling, motivation, investment and habit that stand in the way of being honest with yourself. This gets faster and easier with practice.

If you muscle test, use a pendulum or focus on your sensations to sense what feels right, test your responses to the following statements:

  • I am open to getting accurate information (about the topic at hand)
  • I am willing to get accurate information . . .
  • I am willing to recognize accurate information . . .
  • I am open and willing to NOT get INaccurate information*. . .
  • I am open and willing to be 100% honest with myself.
  • I feel safe knowing what is true for me about this topic.
  • I am willing to act on my Guidance regarding . . .

*In the world of energy and emotion a double-negative is NOT the same as the positive. They are different equations, attached to differently-wired emotional programs or patterns of defense.

Practice the self-checks and tests in above in different circumstances and moods. Notice how your responses differ. Consider printing out this post as a guideline.

How can YOU tell whether an inner voice or impulse is coming from Guidance or your own desires?
How can YOU tell whether or not you can trust a particular decision?

 

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

– Jelaluddin Rumi, version by Coleman Barks

27 April 2012 8 Comments

Life Guidance Series Part 21: How to Develop Self Trust, Part 1: Don’t Fake It

Life Guidance Series Part 21: How to Develop Self Trust, Part 1: Don’t Fake It

The ability to trust one’s self is supremely important in the context of Guidance. How do we develop self trust?

Much of this series is designed to lay the groundwork. In this post I add some important details.

A participant in an advanced spiritual class described an amazing experience she had of being at-one with the masters connected with that spiritual lineage. She then said something about ‘faking it ‘til you make it’. Several people initially agreed.

I took objection to this trivializing comment following her sincere experience, saying, “There is always a way to do the same thing without any faking. You find inside your real capacity, the small, authentic point where you are sincerely in touch with the reality.

“The energy of faking does not belong here. And when we really do make a sincere attempt we actually are not faking, because when we contact the energies of those Beings it is a real thing.

“What we are doing if we tell ourselves we are faking it is playing a game with the part of the ego that thinks faking helps, and making that game important. This kind of game distracts from the reality and slows down development. It is more effective and efficient to build from a small reality without telling one’s self stories.”

The physicist directing the class said, “Yes. When we say we are faking it we are really actually doing it, and we can build on that.”

Sincerity is different experience and energy than faking, with all that implies and makes us feel. Self trust is based on commitment to our inner truth. Yes, we do begin by slowly approximating ever more complete and profound expressions of this trust. Pretense does not contribute to this. Nor does it supply a solid foundation. Building on the smallest actuality is more powerful than brilliant fakery.

Pretending that pretending is all we are able to do can stand in the way of germinating and watering the genuine seed. 

We contain inside ourselves enormous possibility and potential. The confines of identity–who we take ourselves to be, based on past experience and on our issues–limit what we think we can do.

Instead of faking something new, bring it out from within like this:

  • Relax assumptions and judgments about performance
  • Focus fully on locating even a tiny seed of the ability or trait you want to develop
  • Scan and feel inside to sense into what this seed is like
  • Bring the seed the light of awareness and the fuel of intention
  • Shelter this sprout from opinions about yourself or your abilities
  • Experiment openly to see what you are actually able to do already
  • Tell the vulnerable parts of yourself that you’re happy to be doing this new thing and give it energy to invite further expression
  • Check back with it gently, feeling for a time and space that will further awaken your new quality or ability
  • Give it space to express and allow yourself to play with it gently to see how it lives in you
  • Stay open to being surprised as new abilities begin to bloom

On a personal note, I used to have no idea that I had healing or intuitive skills, or what these skills might be. Like many budding intuitives, my interface with Guidance is through Direct Knowing rather than images, and I did not know how to tell the difference between incoming Guidance and everyday thought.

When I began to interface with advanced healers and highly developed spiritual teachers I began to realize that I could do most of the things they did at least by accident when I wasn’t thinking too much. Over time I practiced the technique I have tried to describe above and gradually became much more capable. If I had felt like I was trying to fake something I would have been ego-involved and felt like I was trying to be something I was not; like a phony. Sticking with actual experience allows me to remain fully authentic.

The more authentic we are the more we trust ourselves.

How do you feel inside when you are faking something?

What does truth feel like in your body?

20 April 2012 6 Comments

Life Guidance Series Part 20: Impulse as Guidance

Life Guidance Series Part 20: Impulse as Guidance

Attending to inner impulses is a basic form of guidance. This skill is well worth the attention it takes to develop. Following a simple impulse can literally save your life, like wondering why you just felt compelled to change lanes and then noticing you just avoided a serious accident. Here are two more examples:

Example 1: I woke in the night. Instead of listening to an audio book I was inspired to put on a spiritual class. Without my glasses I had no idea which one I was putting on. I tried to sense which blurry line on my iPod to click, following an impulse to select a certain one. The part of the class that came on staggered me because it answered such specific questions that were fresh and current to my heart.

Example 2: When I practice body work my hands tend to go right to areas that need help. At times they set to treating what is going on before my mind catches up with what they are up to. Body wisdom is a kind of guidance.

Impulse is a language the body often uses to get our attention. Because this language is so direct and reliable, other Guidance often travels the same pathways.

English is primarily visual and auditory, which makes communication about subtle sensation challenging. Note that using Impulse As Guidance is very similar to following your Inner Voice. The primary difference is that attention remains on the kinesthetic/movement pathways rather than the auditory/hearing pathways. 

As with distinguishing voices of Guidance or your inner heart from your assortment of inner voices, we harbor an entire range of impulses. The key to Impulse As Guidance is learning to recognize by vibration which impulses lead to beneficial outcomes. Practicing The Highest Possible Option (see post #18 in this series) trains attention to recognize and respond to beneficial input. 

The following basic directives could show up as something you HEAR in your head, or as IMPULSES with sensations or urges you FEEL:

  • Bring your rain gear
  • Change lanes now
  • Move your hand to a different area
  • I need more air right now
  • Open that book
  • Don’t go there
  • Duck down
  • Attend that workshop
  • Avoid eating that
  • I need to get away from this person
  • It’s time to leave now
  • Drive a different route

Impulse As Guidance and/or Auditory Guidance take practice until you get them dialed in. This is a similar process to learning to recognize the difference between cravings and real needs, or sensing it when you need to drink more water. Again, it requires developing a certain type of attention. Here is the basic technique:

  • Attend to impulses as they arise.
  • Pay special attention to the exact quality of an impulse.
  • How do you feel in your body and heart when it arises.
  • Consider looking back as if you had already acted on the impulse.
  • How does your heart feel about where it takes you?
  • Do you feel contracted or expanded?
  • Watch how events play out when you actually act on impulses.
  • Note whether or not the results of responding to different kind of impulse serve your highest good.
  • Learn which types of impulse are associated with real guidance and what they feel like when they occur.

If you establish yourself in this technique by being honest with yourself and remembering to follow through with your observations you will soon be able to trust this process.

As with all intuitive processes, you can trust them only as far as you can trust yourself. 

By practicing this type of technique you become more intentional and become less random about what kind of consequences you set up for yourself. 

This method does not require belief. It is based on direct experience. As odd as it may seem, none of the many techniques we will cover in this series rely on belief. My work has always been founded on direct personal experience. I will cover things that seem to call for belief. My advice is to stick with methods that resonate with your own direct experience. As you gain mastery more and more experiences that sound like they require belief will pop in as actual experience.

Building from the ground up and working with what we are ready for provides a strong foundation. Avoid introducing fantasy, and focus on the leading edge of your growth without pushing it.

Above all develop within your self and your life good cause to trust yourself. This is the only way to prevent serious issues with ethics if you become skilled and powerful. 

How aware are you of your impulses?

Can you trust yourself to tell which impulses serve you?

What would you need to change in your life to trust yourself more completely?

13 April 2012 4 Comments

Life Guidance Series Part 19: Receptivity and Guidance

Life Guidance Series Part 19: Receptivity and Guidance

Guidance is more about who you become than what you will get from engaging it. It is about
alignment with life, life direction, and intentionally attuning oneself with positive influences.

Guidance is a certain kind of direct participation; a special kind of receptivity. We receive from our responses to Guidance energies. As we align ourselves with Guidance our life conditions may begin to change. We are likely to attract the objects, conditions, and connections necessary to Purpose. These are drawn to us through aligning ourselves with the energies and events we experience as meaningful.

By “receptivity” I mean setting in motion energy that allows Grace, and stilling energies and expressions of personality that interfere. Entitlement or excessive selfish intent tend to make us feel separate from the flow of grace. Look at the goal as holding out relaxed and open hands, without grasping. But this is not about hands, it’s an attitude of mind and heart, and we are allowing information and interaction.

The kind of receptivity that enhances Guidance includes being actively open and willing to go along with your Highest Option (see previous post).

A background attitude or fear that Guidance is somehow silly or not real can block receptivity. I believe this stems from societal attitudes, which are changing. What society at large has been exposed to is almost exclusively whatever is publicly on display for sale. Palm reading, crystal balls, tarot readings, parties with past life readers, fortune tellers, reading tea leaves and so forth often set up a frivolous atmosphere. Fun sells.

The double message of combining the seriousness of providing life direction with the implication that it’s all a game works well for those who fear Guidance and want to flirt with the idea of it without having to dive in and make real changes. That is okay. We all start from where we are.

True Guidance is not entertainment–although it may be entertaining. There have always been charlatans–in every line of business. The same skills run the range from silly to sublime. It depends on the level of development of the practitioner, not the type of skill.

Behind the scenes in high level political counsel chambers throughout history leaders have engaged court astrologers, mystics, seers, and other types of intuitive guides to assist with difficult decisions. Practitioners with great personal clarity and a track record demonstrating effective Guidance would be chosen for such positions. Some were pressured to be accurate if they cared to keep their heads. In order to stay clear, they would need to restrain themselves from biasing information for political ends.

Integrity in Guidance involves receiving and passing along information without biasing it. This takes courage.

You need to be able to imagine things you’ve never heard of in order to take in some types of intuitive information. The ability to think outside the box and to visualize are quite useful. You may need to receive images as a form of communication. More importantly, you need to RECEIVE the sense of what these images MEAN.

Imagination is a mixed blessing in the realm of Guidance. When it comes to receiving abstract or subtle information such as meaning, the active aspect of imagination can interfere. Making things up or biasing information based on assumptions or emotional responses makes Guidance less accurate.

Guidance begins as a receptive function, not an active one. Receptive does not mean PASSIVE, but INTENTIONALLY OPEN. Intentionality is a form of activity–but in this case you are not actively creating and projecting, you are receiving.

Intuition is used to RECEIVE information while imagination is used to open your mind. Imagination is also used with visualization to direct energy during some types of healing. This active function is most useful AFTER receiving Guidance, unless you can do both at once.

Guidance becomes an active function only after it arrives. Activity then consists of communicating it clearly without distortion, in a way that can be received and used by yourself of those you guide.

Receiving and sharing Guidance is very much like being a translator, and subject to many of the same themes. Passing along the meaning without biasing it with your personality is key.

Excellence with Guidance means being flexible and integrated enough to alternate smoothly between receiving and transmitting energy and information. Maintaining a flow of Guidance without shutting it off by becoming too active is an art form. It requires SENSING what feels right and RECEIVING many types of signals.

What do YOU notice about your state and your sensations when you are truly receptive?

If you have fears about being fully receptive, what are they?

How do they influence your relationship with Guidance?

6 April 2012 6 Comments

Life Guidance Series Part 18: Making Good Decisions Part 3–The Highest Possible Option

Life Guidance Series Part 18: Making Good Decisions Part 3–The Highest Possible Option

Here is my favorite formulation for making excellent decisions:
“What is my Highest Possible Option in this moment?”

This question to Self is a powerful and effective tool. It brings forward the most important elements of a decision without supporting side tracks. Practiced correctly, it supports practical idealism but not fantasy.

The Highest Possible Option is a superlative tool in any kind of guidance. (Again, I am using the small “g” for day-to-day guidance and the “G” for Guidance via intuitive transmission.) Consistently going for the HPO trains us to focus of what is truly important,and on the next step to take for our lives to move forward with grace.

Aiming for the HPO clarifies direction and increases motivation. It forms a flexible and realizable ideal. The question invites ethical, well-considered responses.

Going for the HPO is a spiritual upgrade on the concept or motive of operating in your own best interests. Since we are all in this soup together, our own highest option includes the wellbeing of others–without selling ourselves out. Creativity is part of the equation.

Let’s look more closely at the formulation:

What is the difference between the Highest Option and the Highest Possible Option? The word “possible” helps us set aside pipe dreams, speculations, and things that we are not really up for.

The clause “in this moment” keeps us from being stuck or from giving up on things that may be possible at another time. It supports being Present and open in real time. This clause makes the HPO applicable in every life circumstance.

“Possible” and “in this moment” together limit the field to select what we are actually able and willing to do next. This brings us to bear upon our actual resources and what we feel we can do. Being centered in what we can actually do invites compassion for ourselves. This balances the idealism inherent in The Highest Possible Option.

The HPO is not about perfectionism. It is not about doing something “right”. It’s about sensing and selecting the working solution for this particular moment. Here is a link to a Post of Perfectionism. {link to}

Operational hint: fueling self-judgment is never your Highest Option.

Going for the HPO suggests and supports approaching your ideal–but only as closely as you are actually able to act on in the moment.

The HPO is always compassionate. Compassion allows up to be in touch with strengths and weaknesses without killing ourselves off pursuing intellectualized ideals.

Developing the HPO is an art that helps us to adapt to each specific situation with compassion. Bringing forth our most skillful responses to the moment can be a delight and an expression rather than a sterile demand on ourselves for improvement or a passive reaction.

Applying the HPO removes grounds for remorse. You know you have genuinely done your best without pressuring yourself unless there is a real, short-term necessity.

Spiritual poise and personal grace develop as we feel, sense, and intuit the implications of our actions. We begin to respond to events from our spiritual sensibilities rather than momentary desires, sterile practicality, assumptions, and reactions. Intentional living brings deeper satisfaction and a greater experience of meaning.

Accessing Guidance to act with grace brings totally different results than basing decisions and actions on “shoulds.” “Shoulds” block creative expression, compassion, spiritual exploration, and other experiences that feed the soul.

If you tend to get into “shoulds” work with: “What is the most compassionate thing I can do for myself in this moment?” instead of the HPO. Doing what is most compassionate for yourself in a given moment is similar to going for the HPO. Both include becoming aware of options and values, being Present, and acting with intention.

Determining the HPO is not simply a rational process. Pitting pros against cons can mire us in deliberation without particular spiritual or emotional importance. Heart or intuition may already know what is best. The more we direct our lives from intuition the less pros and cons come into play.

Make HPO a consistent habit. It becomes a rudder that stabilizes and integrates your values into your daily decisions.

Consistent practice going for the HPO develops clarity, integrity, peace, and a gift for giving and receiving effective Guidance.

What makes a decision stick for you?
How much do you trust your decisions?

30 March 2012 3 Comments

Life Guidance Series Part 17: Making Good Decisions Part 2, Involving Your Values

Life Guidance Series Part 17: Making Good Decisions Part 2, Involving Your Values

We continue here to explore enhancing Guidance skills by the way we bring ourselves to daily decision making.

We were speaking last of internal alignment as one of the most important elements in decision making. In addition to feeling connected with our selves in a whole way, and to the greater whole, internal alignment involves living our values. This may sound rather abstract at this point. Let’s unpack what it means to be Present in decision making and then look more at bringing in values.

Questions are more useful here than commentary. You can read the questions below rhetorically–but if you will get more out of it if you take time to contemplate them:

What part of yourself do you make a decision from?

How much of yourself do you generally bring to bear on your decisions?

Are there parts of yourself you will not or cannot bring to the table? Why?

Do you involve your mind, emotions, most important values, practical considerations and intuition all together on important decisions?
If not, which one of these modes dominates?

What kinds of circumstances bias your decisions or make a certain mode dominate?

These questions get at the topic of personal integration. The more Present and integrated we are the better we become at making decisions from a place of wholeness. This does not mean that every decision warrants profound involvement. Being open to the possibility that it MAY allows us to live with greater openness to Guidance. This does not mean over-thinking. It means learning who you are and then staying in touch with where you are coming from, and with your values.

What does it mean to involve your values in decision making?

Involving your values means that you intentionally consider whether your decision expresses what is important to you. Examples:

You might select a course of action that expresses your values, like choosing a “green” brand, socially-conscious investing, stopping for a pedestrian, speaking with love, or making time in your life for volunteer work.

You might reject options that do not work with your values, like picking glass over plastic, adjust your attitude instead of reacting caustically, taking care not to betray a friend, or refusing to patronize establishments owned by those who abuse power.

How important does a decision need to be before you intentionally get your values involved in the process?

How does it impact your life to involve your values in your process of making decisions?

As we become more and more integrated and aware, and come to know ourselves and our values well, decision making becomes less cumbersome and more intuitive. We begin to rely more on our natural state of Being. Decisions that may have been difficult become simpler.

A track record of loyalty to ourselves and to our values eliminates confusion and conflict while fostering self-trust. Intuition and Guidance become more central in this internal atmosphere.

Intentionally considering your values is perhaps the fastest and most effective way to overcome mental conflict. Choices made according to what is most important to you sit well. It is easier to follow through and stay loyal to a choice when it has been made according to what matters mosts.

To what extent can you count on yourself to follow through with your decisions?

In the next post I share my favorite formulation for making viable decisions.

23 March 2012 4 Comments

Life Guidance Series Part 16: Making Good Decisions Part 1, Internal Alignment

Life Guidance Series Part 16: Making Good Decisions Part 1, Internal Alignment

Decision making is absolutely central to guidance. Let’s revisit the topic:

The act of decision making is a foundational skill for giving or receiving guidance. Being a good guide–starting with ourselves–rests on making clear, well-timed, insightful decisions.

Internal Guidance, guiding others, and receiving any type of guidance require the ability to transform mere information into viable guidance. This shift occurs when we recognize the specific relevance of the information we take in and respond by making an internal decision. We decide to take in the guidance and to use it or pass it along. After this we can use it to improve or direct our lives or the lives of others.

Deciding to receive or apply guidance is an internal action. This action activates the stream of Guidance as we begin to attend to incoming messages. Even perfect Guidance may prove be useless if we do not respond with some kind of inner decision.

What is the difference between making a good decision and Guidance?

Ordinary guidance is a process by which we may come to a decision. Spiritual Guidance can deliver decisions without clunky mental processes. It’s as if they drop into place whole. For this to occur we have to be willing and able to recognize it, receive it and respond. And we need to be ready. Willingness to respond can be a sticky wicket, which we’ll pursue in subsequent posts.

What is a good decision?

A good decision:

  • Is something you are actually able to do
  • Is appropriate for the time, energy, will, concentration, and other resources you have available
  • Changes how you feel: relieved; more peaceful; inspired; realistically excited; clear, etc.
  • Creates a sense of resolved openness regarding what you intend to do
  • Feels right in your body and heart
  • Gives you a sense of forward momentum or ease as needed
  • Gives you some sense what your next steps may be
  • Feels like your very best option at this particular time

Decisions might be made:

  • As a reaction to circumstances and conditions, without reflection
  • As a reaction to past events, projected into the future; an attempt to avoid dealing with something that occurred before
  • Because you feel you must, like paying your taxes
  • As an expression of emotion; pulling toward or away from something or someone
  • From a purely practical standpoint like going to the store when you need food
  • With the future in mind, like getting your oil changed
  • From a sense of obligation like paying back something owed
  • From an intuitive sense of what seems right

Consider the process of making a good decision. It involves bring ourselves to bear on the matter at hand, with focus and intention.

Arguably, the most important element of decision making is internal alignment. Internal alignment is the element that takes decision making into the realm of Guidance. The more deeply and completely we are able to get in tune with ourselves and feel connected with the universe the more powerful and meaningful will be our decisions.

While there are many ways, such as prayer, meditation, qi gong, energy exercises, yoga, and so forth, to get in touch with ourselves, all of these practices are essential simply training wheels for life itself, lived in the present.

The very act of making a decision can be in itself a simple exercise of becoming fully present, aligning with the intention to bring your best forward, and choosing to act with clarity and intent. Bringing aligned intention and attention to daily decisions is a way to live with meaning. This practice greatly enhances Guidance skills.

What do YOU rely on when reaching for an important decision?