12 February 2016 5 Comments

What is Genuine Love?

“How few understand what love really is, and how it arises in the human heart. It is so frequently equated with good feelings toward others, with benevolence or nonviolence or service.  But these things in IMG_0108themselves are not love.  Love springs from awareness.  It is only inasmuch as you see someone as he or she really is here and how and not as they are in your memory or your desire or in your imagination or projection that you can truly love them, otherwise it is not the person that you love but the idea that you have formed of this person, or this person as the object of your desire not as he or she is in themselves.

“The first act of love is to see this person or this object, this reality as it truly is. And this involves the enormous discipline of dropping your desires, your prejudices, your memories, your projections, your selective way of looking . . . a discipline so great that most people would rather plunge headlong into good actions and service than submit to the burning fire of this asceticism. When you set out to serve someone whom you have not taken the trouble to see, are you meeting that person’s need or your own?” ~ Father Anthony de Mello

Contrast this understanding of genuine love with your conditioning about what it means to be loving.

What do you discover about yourself?

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5 Responses to “What is Genuine Love?”

  1. Therese 12 February 2016 at 4:56 pm #

    I discover I’m on the right path because I understand the difference between the two types of love Father Anthony De Mello writes. I still bounce between the two but I know which I’m in and where I want to be. I also understand when I look at the other person as my Ego self sees them, it tells me what I need to know about me and nothing about the other person.

    Teresa, I hope you’re having a wonderful time wherever you are! Enjoy!

    With Love,

    • Teresa Dietze 13 February 2016 at 10:05 am #

      Dear Therese,

      Thanks for your comment. Good self observation.

      I have a few ideas why you might think I’m somewhere else, but I’ve been home for a long stretch. I’ve been somewhat withdrawn, focused on an intensive and time consuming creative project. I think you’ll see it when it’s eventually done. 🙂

      Are you still in the same place?



      • Therese 6 March 2016 at 9:04 pm #

        I’m beginning the trek home. I will take 2.5 months to drive 750 miles so I’m not rushing. I’m following the weather; as it warms up, I move farther North.

        With Love,

  2. tom 13 February 2016 at 7:42 am #

    Thanks Teresa .

    Very apropos for this weekend! 🙂


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