Inner Work Part 6, Becoming Aware of Your Blind Spots
“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” Carl Jung
Do you notice what you are doing, or do you do things without being aware of and deciding to do them? Take scratching
for example, playing with your hair, crossing your legs, reaching for another handful of chips. Did you decide to do it, or did your body do it on its own?
Sometimes we have more lapses than moments of awareness, yet we imagine that we have continuity of awareness and one, consistent Self. We do not.
The simple behaviors listed above are mere lapses of awareness. Blind spots are more entrenched. We generally defend them. This means that if someone points them out, we have an unpleasant reaction, even a hostile one.
What if you woke up one day and learned that you were a multiple personality? Closely observed, every one of us contains many different parts, and as many different ways of expressing our selves. The important question is: How aware are we of these differences? The stronger your “central hub of awareness” the more able you are to observe and influence the way these parts show up in your life.
Ever get mad without knowing what you are mad about, suddenly shut down, push someone away when you really want to be close, or find yourself unable to speak up when you need something? You may have left on the edit room floor some of the inner film footage of exactly what took you to this moment.
Issues that cause blind spots block your capacity to be self- aware.
As we adapt and react to painful or fearful events we form blind spots to protect ourselves from insight and awareness that seem too painful to manage. We cope. Blind spots may run large chunks of our lives. They produce behavior that is automatic, reactive, and unintentional. Wherever we have a blind spot we are not aware of having Choice.
We have little-to-no influence when we do not notice that we are behaving any differently from usual; that we have ‘checked-out’ and are going through automatic motions.
As Inner Work gradually grinds into focus the facets of a central diamond at the hub of awareness, your assorted parts and pieces–sub-personalities and chunks that are stuck at different ages or levels of development, etc.–become like satellites or spokes around this hub. Your core becomes a place of strength from which to access each part with respect to your hub of self-awareness.
Inner Work gradually thins and removes the walls between the different parts of yourself so you can access all of your parts with your awareness. Learning to notice and feel the shifts in awareness and sensation that occur when you move from one satellite personality to another is a huge accomplishment.
In addition to gradually discoverin
g who we are beneath our blind spots and reclaiming those parts of ourselves, Inner Work enhances your ability to import skills from one set of circumstances to another. Here is an example of importing a skill:
Rick felt incompetent about responding to his infant daughter’s needs. He had no idea how to ìread her signals.î I pointed out that he did great with cats. He could tell by their body language, sounds, and movements how they wanted to be treated. Rick intentionally imported this skill. When he felt overwhelmed and inadequate around his daughter he noticed his feelings, relaxed, and thought about exactly what he did when he was tuning in and responding to cats.
I saw Rick with his daughter several months later and was moved to tears by his lovely ability to respond to her signals. He had done some excellent Inner Work in observing his issue, staying present, and making an aware response.
Blind spots can be complicated, and can conceal trauma. They can be heavily defended and take time and assistance to gradually unveil to the point that we can stay present to all of the feelings and sensations they dampen.
How open are you to discovering your blind spots?
Excellent piece Teresa.
Thank you for the additional clarity to these beautiful blue days.
Hello,
The older I become the more I would like to acknowledge my blind spots and be able to move byond them. I think it would be a more authentic and more exciting way to live life. Just noticing the blind spots is a revelation and a begining to be more present,more alive, and engaged in living life to the fullest. A big job, with lots of great emotional returns to live life byond the blind spots.
Thank you, Teresa for brining up this important issue.
Greg,
Thank you for commenting, Greg! This IS an important issue.
It can be so disconcerting to suddenly realize that we have been missing a chunk of awareness. The fact that we are aware of SOMETHING OR OTHER in every moment hides from us the things we miss.
Today I saw a woman come out of the ladies’ room talking to another woman. The second woman was aware of me. The first passed within touching range and went around a corner without noticing that I was even on the scene. I was amazed. Then I thought: I wonder whether I have ever done that!!! Scary.
Ha, ha,
I laughed (internally) so loud when i saw this posting. I am going through so much stuff right now, and part of me feels “righteous” because I am doing my best to “stand in the fire” with everything that is going on. Another part of me knows that there are blind spots out there that I am not addressing and until I address them the fire will continue to burn… allowing me to continue learning…
Thank you for the insightful, and timely, posting.
LOL! Yes, our egos are incredibly versatile! Sometimes I wonder whether the blind spots take up more territory than the Awake parts!
It is quite amazing that we can be on autopilot most of our lives and 80% of what we call living is being a sleep at the wheel.
Greg,