11 March 2011 3 Comments

Full-Spectrum Forgiveness, Part 7: Positive Vulnerability and Forgiveness

I have met a number of persons able to produce genuine positive emotion at will. Advanced guides understand that we do not arrive at a state of wholeness or Oneness by suppressing or glossing over difficult emotions. Authentic positive feeling rests on being able to experience the entire range of emotions—without becoming identified with them.

What does it mean to experience emotions without becoming identified? This means that when we feel a feeling we do not say 
“this is how I am” or “this is who I am.” We just experience it and let it flow by, like one does with thoughts during meditation or Zen sitting. We continue to be human. We just get better at moving through and out of difficult emotions because we’re not making a big deal of them. We have given up resisting them. Getting to forgiveness, joy and compassion is about being able to ALLOW and RECEIVE them, not to manufacture. Forgiving ourselves is a great second-starting point. The first place to begin is with the ability to be vulnerable.

Positive Vulnerability and Forgiveness
P1040444In the realm of intimacy with Self, others, and spirit, vulnerability means access. Without vulnerability we have no access. This is especially true for anything we may learn directly by experiencing energy or receiving intuitive input. Vulnerability allows energy to penetrate us. All that lies ‘Within’ and ‘Beyond’ require access to us in order for us to have access to them. This applies equally to feeling the energy of a loved one, receiving guidance of any sort, allowing compassion in, allowing one’s self to be forgiven, and experiencing the flow of forgiveness within and through our bodies. Being open and vulnerable to the involved energies provides access.

If this does not bring up the question of boundaries—it should. As a person with profound capacity to feel and “read” energy, I speak a lot about boundaries. Boundaries of different sorts counterbalance the intense vulnerability of being sensitive to energy. Boundaries allow for balance and even for sanity when it comes to knowing what is a part of you and what is not. At some levels of experience everything IS a part of us. At others, we need to be able to identify exactly what belongs to us and what does not. Energy awareness and boundaries go hand in hand.

We connect with the world larger than personal identity and vaster than our limited beliefs by opening to experiences that are beyond what we know ourselves to be. This opening involves vulnerability.

In the everyday world we usually use the word vulnerability to describe a state of being unprotected and unsafe. The trick to intimacy with the world beyond our skins–and our defenses–is to learn how to feel safe enough inside ourselves that we can be vulnerable to life in a positive way. I’m talking about letting in love. I’m talking about being open to learning things that do not fit with our old set of beliefs. I’m talking about allowing compassion to overtake us, getting tears in our eyes when we hear something beautiful, and being deeply moved by gestures of kindness. Positive vulnerability is a real asset.

Defense closes us off to intimacy. We need not choose between being a brick wall or a living target. Sensing and honoring our needs for boundaries can assist both overly-open and overly-closed individuals. Those who tend to close others out can practice trusting their ability to close as needed—and hazard greater openness. Those who tend to be super-open need to make sure their choices involve compassion for themselves, not just for others. Knowing ourselves well enough and getting adept with boundaries support a sense of inner safety. These skills—accelerated by addressing our emotional wounds—make healthy openness possible. Emotional armor is deadening.

So how do we begin to peal off that armor? The rest of this post series is designed to make doing so more comfortable.

Self-forgiveness is key.

How and when have YOU experienced Positive Vulnerability?
How did you feel?

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3 Responses to “Full-Spectrum Forgiveness, Part 7: Positive Vulnerability and Forgiveness”

  1. Greg 13 March 2011 at 5:21 pm #

    I was wondering why in the past year or more I would start crying and be so moved by individuals positive actions toward other people or animals. How I am becoming more vulnerable must be from my Qigong practice and probably growing older.

    Sometimes the lightest emotion will start the ball rolling for me, especially if it is compassion expressed for another human or animal.

    I defenitely feel alive and in touch with the energy of the planet. It is easy for me to connect with compassion and be vulnerable to the what is going on at this point in my life.

    Thank you

    • Teresa Dietze 14 March 2011 at 6:38 pm #

      Hi Greg. This is really a good sign. I think it also comes from your ongoing focus on staying in (and opening) your heart. This sensitizes us to our essential unity with others.

      There are what are called “hot tears” and “cool tears.” Hot tears are the ones that come from distress and aggravation. Cool tears express being deeply moved by something positive. The more we open ourselves to beauty the more we get those cool tears. They always feel very spiritual to me because I am so aware of others when they spring up and surprise.

      When you say “at this point in my life” that is an important part of your experience. It is easier to access essential unity and deeper feelings as we begin to mellow over time, especially for men. We learn that happiness and integrity matter more than competition and winning. This makes it “safer” to feel our unity with other beings.

      I am delighted that you can share this as it is an inspiration, showing the benefits of positive vulnerability.

      Thank you

  2. Nico 12 November 2015 at 8:28 pm #

    thanks for your thoughts, Kathleen! Some veosrin of not good enough runs in almost every human system, it seems. So we have compassion for that AND celebrate that we can choose a higher Truth and move forward

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