12 July 2015 8 Comments

Managing Your Energy Part 53: Musings on Self Realization, Part Two: Important Questions

“The hardest thing on the spiritual path is to become fully human.” ~Meyer Baba

I am in deep contemplation before joining at an event with a spiritual teacher, seeking to be open to him after a set of group experiences during which he resisted self awareness. He is a Friend I have always loved.

I am asking myself what it is about resisting awareness that disturbs me. I am asking myself whether I am judging.

I am discovering that I am not judging, but I am disappointed. I will explore this here because it is a valuable inquiry.

I am not one who requires that a teacher or leader be perfect in my eyes. If I have ever prided myself on something it was this: A mentor I once told me I was the only person he had mentored who transitioned to a P1060813friendship instead of finding some pretext to make him wrong or reject him, once they were powerful enough to no longer need him. I did not have to push him away to realize and sustain my growth.

A teacher’s mark of high success is to have students grow beyond them.

I am willing to see humanity and foibles of my current Teacher without allowing them to interfere with my enormous respect. This gives me the security that I am not likely to feel let down or foolish down the line.

Several people I have mentored have ‘discovered’ my own humanity, and taken objection. This is ironic since I have always been forthcoming about my flaws and challenges. When they retreated, their projections continued, flipping from positive to negative as they sought to come to grips with the issues were driving these views. I find it sad when someone feels they must withdraw to stand as a equal. I always aim to demonstrate gratitude to my mentors by standing BESIDE, as I become able.

What marks the difference in being able to accept the humanity of a teacher, friend, or fellow human, and becoming disappointed in them for their shortcomings?

Also, how do we hold OURSELVES with a respect that is not subject to erosion by our own shortcomings?

Contemplating my ability to accept my own and other’s humanity, I have to start with my spiritual Teacher and my healer. They provide the clearest mirrors. I respect them easily beyond any issues they may have. They are well aware of their shortcomings and are committed to Truth.

I also consider my work with clients. I can hold space for their growth with love, and support them without feeling superior or judging them for the issues they are so brave to confront.

When I plumb my experience and ask myself why I have difficulty with the shortcomings of some while accepting those of others, I realize that what matters to me is that the person is actively pursuing and working on becoming self aware.

Now I see that my distress regarding the Friend I will see shortly stems from the fact that he repeatedly resisted what he was being shown about himself in and following the incident that occurred.

Why did this leave me feeling so distant?

I felt shut out.

Truth is the meeting hall for Essence, where We meet when we are in touch with and moving from Essence, together. This is the sacred ground where we really connect. It has nothing to do with theory, belief, opinion, speculation, or the mind. It is the actuality of Connection we experience together when we meet heart to heart without concepts, in the simple authenticity of feeling.

When we defend and deny, we close the doors to the meeting hall. Reactive emotion without the presence of neutral self observation blocks insight exploration, and connection. It keeps us in personality, unable to access Essence.

Willingness to do one’s Work is often the fulcrum upon which relationships hinge.

I am looking for space in my heart to connect from Essence with my Friend and others, without allowing any incident to block stepping into shared Truth in another moment. I have confidence in my ability to do that, and I hope he lets me in as I remain open to him in his humanity.

How do YOU feel about connecting with people when they are not open to seeing what they are doing?

What conditions do you hold for engaging fully with others?

Is there something you can supply for yourself that can allow you to release your conditions and still remain emotionally healthy?

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8 Responses to “Managing Your Energy Part 53: Musings on Self Realization, Part Two: Important Questions”

  1. Therese 12 July 2015 at 4:15 pm #

    I’m learning to allow others to be wherever they are in their journey. I have a lot to learn so judging someone else for having things to learn seems counterproductive to my growth. I use to be really bad about trying to drag people to a different understanding with the intent of improving their lives. Who am I to say which path is best for another? I must concern myself with my path and let others do the same.

    The conditions I hold are respect and honesty. This is tricky. I recently discovered a person can be honest and contradict themselves in the span of two sentences. They truly don’t remember what they just said in the previous sentence. Again, I have to be willing to allow the person their own path. That said, I also have to realize this person is there to teach me love for everyone, not teach me with their words.
    Love for myself, forgiveness for myself, and acceptance of myself are how I stay emotionally healthy. I can lose my ability to do the previously mentioned three things and lose my stability. I remember more quickly these days to come back to myself and love me exactly where I am.

    Wonderful post, Teresa! I do wonder about those who push their teachers away. It seems to me that one would lose their connection to Source while pushing someone away. I wonder if the resistance to the teacher is more about needing to break the bond so they can stand upon their own two feet. It seems those starting down this path may not have the experience of confidence to propel them forward without burning their bridges. I’m thinking out loud.

    With Love,

    • Teresa Dietze 15 July 2015 at 7:56 am #

      Dear Therese,

      Thank you for your considered response. I have read this several times. As it turns out I have a lot to say about it, which I am grappling with to get to greater clarity. I want to respond more when I have the time and focus.



    • Teresa Dietze 15 July 2015 at 9:31 pm #

      Hi Again,

      I will speak to this topic in another post or two, although there is one coming first. Please remember that I will be responding more generally than I would to you personally, since you are where you are. Different points of view serve different people depending on their particulars.

      I very much like what you said in your last paragraph. People DO lose connection with the energy that has served them when they cut it off from the sources it came through. That is sad, and often arrogant. It is about trying to feel strong on one’s own–which is misguided since we are always in a sea of interrelatedness.

      Love and blessings,


      • Therese 19 July 2015 at 8:06 am #

        I can definitely see where your next post is part of this conversation. This is a topic I’m constantly reevaluating to get a better handle on it. Not because I need to understand others better but because I want to understand myself better. When I truly understand me then I will be completely accepting and loving towards others for I will have no reaction other than love. I love getting closer to living in that loving space.

        With Love,

        • Teresa Dietze 19 July 2015 at 11:20 am #


          However–the devil’s in the details! LOL



        • Teresa Dietze 19 July 2015 at 11:24 am #

          I’m be interested to know whether the NEXT posts go where you thought I would take the topic. I am still working on toning down and clarifying what turned out to be a fairly extensive rant, probably my version of some of the things you touched on in your next and extensive comment.

          More later.



          • Therese 19 July 2015 at 6:00 pm #

            I don’t know that I think about what your next post is going to be about. What I meant is, when I read future posts, I can see how they are sometimes based in the conversation started by the previous post. I enjoy the development and seeing where comments take you within yourself. I always find myself learning something from the way your mind works. It’s a great adventure!

            With Love,

            • Teresa Dietze 20 July 2015 at 9:52 am #


              Thanks. You are so good with words! And . . . that’s accurate.


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