29 March 2013 1 Comment

LGS 67: Taking Guidance from Death

Death is a staggering agent of change. It is a force that carries far-reaching influence. Becoming more comfortable with death brings beauty, grace, and depth to life.

Here are a few simple examples (names changed) of taking guidance from death:

Debbie recently went through the loss of two grandparents within ten days. She had been stress-wrapped around her job for a long time. A temporary staff change challenged her to work with a stubborn and irrational boss. After memorials for her grandparents Debbie came into my office regal, open, and relaxed. She had decided to take a six month sabbatical to travel and enjoy life.

Judith worked long and hard to prepare herself emotionally for the loss of her Mother. As her Mother was actually departing her body, Judith had an astonishing mystical healing experience. Integrating revelations that accompanied her experience is actively transforming her responses in many facets of her life.

Timothy consolidated his personal power and learned to carry his dignity and clarity while managing end of life issues with his Father and family.

Patricia was responsible for the care of two declining parents.
Their needs gradually escalated until she was feeling crushed and overwhelmed. She had not stopped to evaluate the impact on her own life. She could not imagine a way to lessen her load.

“What if you were dead?” I asked Patricia. “Who would take care of them?” I felt space opening up inside her as she considered this. When she had fully taken it in, I added: “What if you were fully alive in your realization of what you need to do in your own life?”

This brief contemplation changed Patricia’s posture. Her head came back over her shoulders, which dropped, allowing her to breathe deeply again. Her face and eyes softened.

Death is not just a clinical fact. Death shakes down relationships, memories, habits, old wounds, hopes, fears, beliefs, spiritual orientation, and emotional patterns. We are drawn to examine how, what and when we give, and what motivates our giving. We have an opportunity to rectify selfishness, or to release a need to over-give.

There is a break-point between what we need to do for others to feel correctly balanced. We give care partly to feel okay about ourselves. We give partly for our own benefit, so we will feel okay when people pass. Sacrificing ourselves beyond our inner sense of balance can be like draining a vital life in service to another’s death. When we feel called to do so, a sacrifice can be pure grace. When we are not, we suffer in it.

Sometimes the life lesson in a death consists of learning to support our own boundaries, and physical and emotional health by releasing inappropriate responsibility. Finding this break-point and sensing just how much to give is a highly personal affair.

A dear friend who does bereavement counseling and death midwifery says, “We do not die for ourselves. When we die we die for our community.”

The momentum of a death touches and changes the lives of those who have a part to play in the in the inevitable crescendo of necessities and events. Whether related, involved, or total strangers, people are cast together around the event called death. Each participant, to the extent that they allow themselves to be moved, carries some of the energy of change into their life, and impacts their relations.

With intention and compassion, we can bring beauty and grace to situations of impending death. Whether that death is of loved one or anticipating our own, we dignify this passage by bringing forward actions and expressions that usher in love, soul-deep healing and transformation. What we bring impacts the transition of the passing soul, and the lives of the other people who are connected through this death.

Participating with intention in the transition of death is an amazing chance to grow spiritually, get in touch with core truths, and commit ourselves to living in alignment with our deepest values.

From an esoteric standpoint, being fully alive IS dying. We have to LET GO and surrender our opinions of ourselves, all that we cling to, our habits, and our fears to fully enter the moment. Letting go of everything to be fully open to the moment is truly refreshing. We can begin to practice this skill now.

Learn to embrace the process of death, to take guidance from it. Allow death to motivate real change. Use it to remind you to live as you truly want to live.

Has a death or the idea of dying inspired YOU to live differently?

What realizations, life changes, convictions, or important plans arose through exposure to death and dying?

One Response to “LGS 67: Taking Guidance from Death”

  1. Taking Guidance From Death ~ Learning to Live Fully – Positive Energy Guide

    There has been a critical error on your website.

    Learn more about debugging in WordPress.