Positive Energy Guide

The underworld parts of my journey began with the wound. In life as in mythology, a lot of journeys do. I hope you will find my deeper processes useful. Some parts are difficult to share.

At some point I asked myself: “Did I force the bike trip?” “Was I supposed to go?” “Did woman I called my ‘travel angel’ showing up to guide me mean that I was supposed to be at the monastery?” “If I hadn’t gone, would I have injured myself elsewhere?”

Frankly, I roll my eyes if I think like this. I find “supposed to” or “meant to be” talk annoying. Who is doing the supposing? Such conjecture is rarely useful. Real experiences of meaning arise from feeling, not conjecture. Then again, if we stay with feeling, sensing, and intuition, mining experience for gems will surpass such theories.

I felt clear that what I was going through was related to my energy experience in the castle garden. (Part 4)

As I lived with my injury, memories and insights surfaced from my personal archeology:

About fifteen years ago I had what seemed to be a trivial wound in almost the same spot on my opposite shin. I slipped on a jungle-gym and found myself hanging upside-down by a rope. (Shades of The Hanged Man in Tarot.) That rope wound did not appear serious but the tissues resisted normal healing.

About ten years ago I accompanied other healers on a Shamanistic trip to ancient power spots and barrows in England and Ireland. As our bus passed through Wales a succession of different past life images surfaced, along with related emotions. This intense experience seemed to be a type of energy release. One salient visionary sequence clearly pertained to the shin wound:

I was a man, carrying a huge, rough wooden cross through the streets of a medieval town, having suffered this for some months. I felt ambivalent about this penance. It did not feel spiritually alive. After long deliberation I confronted the church leader, who had tasked me with this burden. We disagreed. I pushed the cross in his direction, rejecting it, but did not push hard enough. It fell back. I jumped back but the wall arrested my movement and a crossbar struck my right shin.

Subsequent images showed me limping winter streets with a wound that worsened over time. I died without coming to grips with related conflicts about my beliefs.

Whether or not we were raised with religion, many of us carry remnants of religious programing. This can show up in many different ways. For example, we may assign a sense that we can never be good enough to an abstract divine authority, feel we deserve to be punished for things we think, or feel shame about our basic humanity.

Following my past life reflections, the rope wound to my shin began to heal again after remaining stagnant for years.

My current mix of influences had pinged that past life memory:

–My injury occurred near a medieval town, just after exiting a monastery.
–I had been actively processing ambivalence related to power structures within my spiritual group. [I’m good with my Teacher.]
–I was struggling with a painful and awkward burden that did not seem mine to carry, yet it fell back on me when I refused to do so.

Current life tags to the past life wound that never healed fueled flashes of terror. Hospital staff had told me this area of the shin was subject to necrosis. I could not stay off my feet. I could not check the injury as I had been told to leave it undisturbed until the drain was taken out. I worried whenever it hurt.

The positive energy experience I evoked at the formal garden before the injury (Part 4), spoke to laying down burdens, allowing myself to be honored, living more lightly, and receiving support. My healer and I had long been working to correct a weak energy grid on my left lower body, related to the above. I had challenged my status quo.

Some energy-based issues can be corrected immediately. Effective energy work then influences our life experience and reduces related reactivity. Pulling out energies that do not belong with us usually falls into this category. Energy patterning formed over decades or lifetimes, however, are often riddled with deeply held beliefs or conflicts and require ongoing attention and significant change to resolve.

How does your past shape what things mean to you in the present?

How do you influence whether your past creates a meaningful continuity of experience, or prejudices your experience of the present?