20 August 2016 10 Comments

Managing Your Energy, Part 2: Conditions that Cause Energy Transfer

What happens to our energy when we ‘go out to’ others, become overly sympathetic, ‘over-merge’ with another person or a group, give ourselves away, get drawn in to interactions that do not serve us, do more for others than is healthy, or get ‘triggered’ and begin to dissociate?

These unintentional behaviors leave our energy fields patchy and thin, riddled with holes, or partially unoccupied, leaving space for ‘squatters’ (like in an empty home). This type of condition creates erratic energy connections with others.

Unintentional energy connections spring from our personal issues. They do not express our preferences or foster healthy intimacy.

The behaviors mentioned above cause energy to leak from us into the fields of others. This may or may not compromise us, depending on our own field strength and what happens to be going on with the other person when we do it. Let’s say it “leaves us open,” literally and figuratively.

A bit farther below are some types of interaction that can lead to unintentional energy transfer. I have broken them into categories. Some kinds actual of interaction reflect issues that cause ‘leaking.’ Things we all do inside our own heads can also create energy openings or connections. These connections can be constructive, neutral, or problematic. The key is to notice and have a choice.DSC_0242

The maxim: “Where your mind goes your energy follows” applies here. Note that thinking about people creates connection. This may seem sketchy to some people but I have several friends who will call me, or visa versa, EVERY TIME we focus on one another with feeling, whether it has been a few days or a few months.

The mind has been referred to by a certain spiritual master as, “A public well.”

Thinking is an interaction more often than we care notice. I have seen strangers respond bodily to my thoughts about them, and realized I was thinking too loudly or judging. The stronger our will and concentration the more important it is to watch what we put out.

I am do not suggest neurotic self-consciousness about your every thought. That produces its own kind of inner ‘noise’ and leads to suppression. Notice instead when you are putting out energy, and learn to manage your energy instead of dwelling on your thoughts. Learn to think inside your own space instead of projecting.

Examples of conditions that can create energy contact:


  • Compassionate desire to help, with insufficient energy boundaries
  • Over-concern for another person, without adequate grounding
  • Inappropriate care-taking
  • Worrying about someone
  • Worrying about what others may think of you
  • Resentment, hostility, hatred, guilt, etc.
  • Any other emotions (including positive) that cause you to project yourself into someone else’s space
  • Vacancies or hole in our energy fields from emotions or issues we push away or deny


  • Judging another person creates a link to the energetic frequency of the behavior upon which we are focused
  • Conversations with others in our heads
  • Having something we need to say and not saying
  • Intending to do something for or with someone and thinking about it without acting on it


  • Body contact, especially if it involves energy transfer
  • Hugging
  • Training that involves touch
  • Healing work
  • Sex

Take care to associate with people with good energy hygiene.


  • Going into rapport/resonance with someone who has energy that is not theirs or who has disowned emotional energy in their fields
  • Running an emotion that matches the energy in someone’s fields
  • “Matching pictures”– which means that something unresolved in your history, one of your emotional triggers, or an incident you react to has the same resonance as energy the other person is carrying

Note that energy easily transfers over the telephone when conditions set up sufficient resonance

Moving from a defensive stance into personal growth depends on taking responsibility for the INTERNAL reasons that we take on energy.

What habits, traits, or behaviors make YOU vulnerable to picking up energy?
When you notice the potential of picking up energy, do you do seek to protect yourself from the other person or to shift what you do inside to minimize your vulnerability?
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10 Responses to “Managing Your Energy, Part 2: Conditions that Cause Energy Transfer”

  1. Therese 17 May 2014 at 9:22 am #

    I’m currently dealing with my inner issues because my Mother-in-Law has had a mini-stroke. She can completely recover from this. I know this because of my training and current profession. However, everything she is going through was caused by pneumonia so, at age 93, she will take a couple of months to recover her energy so she needs a lot of rest and just minimal maintenance on her abilities during this time. The PT department isn’t seeing her as able to “do” anything and is giving up on her. Of course, she is also so drugged up on pain killers, from her nervous system trying to get back to normal, that she is unable to even keep her eyes open. I am working with her when I go see her and I know, once she recovers from the fatigue and nervous system upset, she will be able to walk and do all the things she did before; my assessment and her improved abilities, from the 4 times I’ve worked on her, tell me this is true. I am bothered by the fact that, in the meantime, her family has to move her out of her current living conditions. My husband and I plan to rent a storage facility for her things for a few months so she doesn’t lose everything and can go back into another assisted living situation. It just makes me sad that the rest of her family seems to be giving up on her and has already placed her in a nursing home.

    I completely realize this is MY issue and has some to do with how I was raised and some to do with how strongly I connect with people. This is an opportunity for me to find balance in a very stressful, for me, situation without interfering with the family’s decisions but also respecting and doing what I can towards my thoughts and feelings. I know I will figure it out. Some days are easier than others. It’s a process.

    Thanks for letting me talk. I’m always amazed at how you are able to zero in on the things I need you to address even though I am unaware I need you to address these issues. 🙂 Thank you for your awareness and intuition!

    With Love,

    • Teresa Dietze 17 May 2014 at 8:21 pm #

      I’m sure you are a real blessing in her life, Therese. This is tough stuff to manage. My heart goes out to you.

      Hard to say whether people have given up or want to insure that things are easier down the line.

      Yes, I DO try to address things that need to be addressed. When I sense what is needed it is sometimes hard to know which ones people are ready to accept. I hope we didn’t lose too many people in the Pain series. Being able to face the things we fear to feel is almost a prerequisite to being able to manage our energy!



      • Therese 24 May 2014 at 3:21 am #

        I would take the word “almost” out of your last sentence. In order to allow ourselves to be completely open & connected to ALL that is, I believe we have to address our inner hurts and resolve as many as possible. As you say, other people’s energies only stick to us where we have work left to do. If we do the work, then Love will be the only thing which can stick. Who doesn’t want more of that?

        I hope people aren’t leaving because of feeling triggered, overwhelmed, or an unwillingness to go inside & do the work. Your writing is here to support; it does not judge. I guess, if people leave, at least they know where they can return, when they are ready. I know there are times when I’ve felt a need for a break from growing. 😉

        As always, thank you for the work you do. Long hugs to you.

        With Love,

        • Teresa Dietze 24 May 2014 at 9:09 am #

          Dear Therese,

          I’m not sure which sentence you mean. I’ve been looking for it! Please advise.

          Yes. Still, it can be extremely hard for people initially to dig in and confront issues. The ego patterns have such (mostly-illusory) survival value. Interesting how those patterns can make us feel we will die without them, but it is only the ego that loosens up as we release them, and then we feel so much more Alive!

          Love and thanks,


          • Therese 30 May 2014 at 12:14 pm #

            Look at the very last sentence in your first response to me. It is the sentence which has the word “almost.”

            Actually, here is your sentence. “Being able to face the things we fear to feel is ‘almost’ a prerequisite to being able to manage our energy.” I put single quoted around the word almost.

            • Teresa Dietze 1 June 2014 at 12:19 pm #

              Ah . . . (I was looking in the post itself.)

              Thanks. I said “almost” because while it could be said to be true, as we find it to be in extended experience, we also begin to learn to manage our energy before we necessarily are able to confront every fear. I did not wish to discourage anyone who is not yet at that point in his or her process.


              Good catch.



  2. Sabine 17 May 2014 at 1:50 pm #

    Gosh I was REALLY hoping this article would end with a bunch of pointers on how to minimize this sort of vulnerability! 🙂 Perhaps that’s forthcoming? I have never had this possibility — that we can connect to others’ energy in SO many ways –elucidated for me! It’s a lot to take in when you think about it. (which I’m now doing, thanks to you). In the past I have had the instinct to actually hold my breath when I walked past certain people to do my best to make sure none of “them” got into “me.” Is that related to what you’re writing about? So what’s the ideal — if we are all connected in some way energetically? Can we do a blanket statement of intention/deliberateness in the morning that will carry us through the day? Profound stuff, Teresa! Thank you. (oh — and I often tend to think about you, as I did this early this morning, on the days that you’ve sent out one of this articles). X

    • Teresa Dietze 17 May 2014 at 8:13 pm #

      Dear Sabine,

      I believe I did some of that in the External Influences mini post series, and some of that was subtly in the last two posts. There will be more.

      Yep. That’s really what I’m writing about. 🙂 I had more thoughts and feelings about this today, and hope I can get them written down while the inspiration is still alive.

      Yes, we are all connected. Finding a balance between resting in our Oneness with all creation while maintaining functional boundaries as an individual with a clear and developed sense of self is quite a project!

      I think of you too. Thanks for writing.


  3. Jennifer Hammill 18 May 2014 at 9:23 am #

    I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your articles, and the depth and insight that you always offer. I feel like my whole way of seeing life, and hopefully my reactions to it, continue to evolve, feeling more in touch with my authentic self as a result of the words of wisdom that you dole out. Lots of times I don’t write back because I don’t think of a particular issue, but I still feel changed somehow anyway.

    • Teresa Dietze 19 May 2014 at 8:25 am #

      Dear Jennifer,

      A number of times people have suggested that I write about what people think, but that leads to swirling around in the same pool instead of leaping into a bigger one. It is great to hear you feel changed by exposure. I have been exposed to teachings that went inside and became activated by life events years later. These writings are intended to stay inside and build up until something new comes together when insight is ready to occur.

      Thanks for your note,


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