Life Purpose, Part 7: Living Your Values
Are your goals, dreams, and motivations inspired by heartfelt values or motivated by buried emotional issues?
What if you are already lovable, worthwhile, and even precious, without having to prove anything to anyone? If you knew this to be true–and could feel it–how would this impact what you feel you need
to do in the world?
The nature and fruits of our influence in the world depends on our values. Goals and dreams are constellations of our values. Values are like the stars we use to navigate the ocean of our lives. Without values we are rudderless, driven by compulsions and the winds of momentary desire.
Purpose embodies motivation. What motivates you?
Several years back, in an email conversation within a spiritual group, one guy was avidly pushing his philosophy that spiritual values require political action. Tension grew as several people politely tried to say that not everyone was politically motivated. The political guy kept pushing.
I sensed frustration and even anger behind people’s indirect responses. I finally jumped in and wrote: Politics is divisive. Spirituality promotes unity. If you are spiritually inspired to involve yourself in politics it is your duty to do so. If you are not, your time is better spent contributing in other ways.
The tension released and I received some ‘thank yous.’
Let me clarify here and say that voting, and other societal duties are in a different category from Life Purpose. You vote. You get license tabs on your vehicle. You do not confuse this with Life Purpose. Taking an active stand in the world for a cause requires passion, purpose, and involvement. You may find Purpose in such expression. Such Purpose may or may not feel spiritual to you, depending on your values and approach. This is a highly individual matter.
To know our own values as pure sources of guidance we must lift them up and clean them off. Practice washing away these sources of confusion:
- Other people’s values including parents, siblings, spouse, friends
- Conditioned social “values” based on competition, superficial circumstances and material gains that have no special meaning for you personally
- Reactions and compulsions such as greed, lust, excessive concepts about security
- The need to prove yourself worthy
- Reactions AGAINST, such as proving you are NOT what a parent or teacher thought you were
Values change as we develop. Updating our concept of success and our sense of purpose as we grow supports living motivation.
What do you value now that you did not feel strongly about before?
Motivational speakers often say, “never give up and never quit.” It is one thing to give up and quite another to discover that a goal no longer suits us or feels appropriate. Killing yourself off to make something happen may occur at the cost of your happiness and health. Whether or not the goal is worth this use of your life depends whether the goal is truly your Life Purpose. Pay attention when the exertions necessary for success begin to turn you or your life into something you don’t wish to sustain.
This quote from my third spiritual teacher remains apropos:
“If it is your highest option to become a spiritual teacher and you become a garbage man, you have wasted your life.” He paused and added, “If it is your highest option to become a garbage man and you become a spiritual teacher you’ve wasted your life as well.”
Some people have destinies that require global involvement. Some people are envious of these people. Such envy is rarely tempered by understanding the burdens, sacrifices, and discipline such a life requires.
I believe that we are drawn from within and prompted by our environment when we have big work to do in the world. Pushing ourselves into positions of prominence for personal reasons rarely leads to happiness.
As we develop spiritually and open our hearts we are more likely to be inspired to contribute to humanity through service. Inspiration to serve can stem from a felt sense of being connected with others.
Following inspiration develops qualities of the heart and provides the personality with ample opportunities for growth. The motive force behind this impulse differs from a desire to be in the limelight and to find personal importance through leaving one’s mark upon life.
What if your ability to be in touch with yourself and to know yourself and your values is THE MOST important purpose in your life?
The discomfort of longing for meaning and Purpose has great value if it can get you to explore who you really are and what you really need.
What types of experience bring you meaning?
What experiences make you feel connected with yourself and with life itself?
I notice I feel the MOST connected when I can help someone in my line of work, to feel less stress and that even though they are going through a tough time there can be humor and that they deserve kind treatment. I also feel connected with my animals, just spending time with them and snuggling them. I don’t want to save the world I do want to leave a ‘wake’ or trail of happiness behind me.
But the comment about washing our values has made me wonder. I have always wanted to go into the healing arts with energy work and homeopathy, but I wonder if this is left over from trying to be like my mother or win her approval or if it is a true calling. I think it is but I am wondering WHY I want this what about it calls to me..
Great food for thought, as always T.
Great question, Leah.
Pay good attention to what you feel like inside and what comes up when you contemplate.
Leaving a “wake of happiness behind” you is a wonderful life purpose and reflects your sweet heart.
Teresa
Hello,
The experinces that bring me meaning now are the experinces that I have doing family and dream constellation work. When I connect with the field in constellation work I feel very connected to reality and a very non judgemental reality that I make a direct contribution to. The message that comes through me has value for me and the seeker in the constillation.
The dream work has a more symbolic meaning that takes time to work through to fine out the message of all the parts of the dream.
This work has been a real eye opener for me to see myself and my past in a new light that brings new meaning to my day to day world. It allows me to ask the questions that I did not know to ask and recieve answers that I was not will- ing to hear.
I must know find the support and strenght to act on the guidance that I have recieved. This is the most important part of my life and purpose right know.
Thank you Teresa!
Greg
Hi Greg,
That’s a good description of how the constellation work operates. It is fascinating to discover how information begins to come through the group that the individuals would have no way to know. The way this info shows up through posture, mood, and attitude is informative.
Even more interesting, to me, is that if you think about it, the same thing is probably occurring all day every day, to differing extents and with different information. This speaks to how we are always absolutely awash in the energy of the collective. We like to think of ourselves as individuals, yet our individuality is totally woven into the tapestry of our connections.
T