14 July 2017 6 Comments

What Is Real Love? ~ The Paradoxes of Love

Here is some cogent commentary and contemplation by Don Richard Riso, on what ‘real’—or shall we say ‘more self-aware’—love is:


Real love is liberating for oneself and breaks old boundaries and restrictions

Real love seeks nothing for itself but is not self-forgettingIMG_7728

Real love is transparent and does not come from premeditation

Real love does not recapture the past nor does it guarantee the future

Real love is not clung to even though it heals all old wounds

Real love is not afraid of taking risks nor is it about feeling safe

Real love is endlessly generative and cannot run out

Real love can suffer hurt and rejection and not strike out

Real love is something we already have although we often do not know it

Which of the comments about real love do you find the most freeing or useful to contemplate?

What is the difference between taking a statement about love as a maxim that you try to live by, and using it to recognize your current limitations?

Which approach is likely to be the most fruitful and why?


Here is a spiritual and energy-based perspective. This feels alive to me:

“Love has to spring spontaneously from within; it is in no way amenable to any form of inner or outer force. Love and coercion can never go together; but while love cannot be forced upon anyone, it can be awakened through love itself. Love is essentially self-communicative; those who do not have it catch it from those who have it. Those who receive love from others cannot be its recipients without giving a response that, in itself, is the nature of love. True love is unconquerable and irresistible. It goes on gathering power and spreading itself until it eventually transforms everyone it touches. Humanity will attain a new mode of being and life through the free and unhampered interplay of pure love from heart to heart.”  ~Meher Baba

What do you sense when you contemplate this quote?

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6 Responses to “What Is Real Love? ~ The Paradoxes of Love”

  1. Therese Sandhage 14 July 2017 at 8:26 am #

    Love is always the answer. Love comes forth from the heart and the head is never involved. When I’m coming from Love, I feel it in my expanding heart. As soon as I begin thinking, I know I have stepped out of Love. Love is always a feeling. Love is pure and unencumbered, it can be nothing else.

    I hope you are feeling and receiving Love.

    With Love,

    • Teresa Dietze 14 July 2017 at 10:42 am #

      Dear Therese,

      I agree. And thank you for your loving thoughts. 🙂

      Words, however, being subject to misinterpretation, I would like to use your comment as a basis of further exploration in a subsequent blog. I’ll check with you directly.



      • Therese Sandhage 14 July 2017 at 10:45 am #

        Feel free to use my words.

        With Love,

  2. Kelly 15 July 2017 at 9:00 pm #

    Love. What a loaded word on the Human interpersonal plane of existence. I feel it requires speaking to on at least two levels. I am no expert here!!

    First, I’m aware of an ever present channel or vibration of love that is an important and INHERENT aspect of life that with work or grace we can access in addition to it coming through another radiating this. It’s like the sun shining on the creepiest of things we could imagine, embracing it completely, it is not put off by the dude who spits on you!!!!

    Then there is this distorted experience of human love. Generally a healthy mother and possibly father will be flooded with hormones at the birth of their child, child gets the love drugs too if healthy and in this climate it may be somewhat like the sun, but not quite. Then we grow up and love gets distorted and woven in with things like -you are doing something for me I can’t do for myself (could be anything emotional, physical etc) so I feel love for you, but this may not be love so much as grateful dependency. Sorry if this feels like a downer. We may cherish or feel our heart swell at the vulnerable broken part of ourself or our partner or friends, this is closer to a selfless love….we often feel love when someone genuinely takes the time to understand us. This last one takes curiosity and sincere probing but the receiver may feel seen and this sense of being seen may feel like you now live in another and this reflects human care and love…good parenting accomplishes this. The person feels valued. Sadly we have sped past this primary need at this time in the US on a large scale.

    The point I’m trying to make is that there is an actual vibration of love that can be accesssed, but in the world we inhabit now it seems love has been largely misunderstood. Once a child moves beyond the period when this ‘loved’ sense of self can develop a constant yearning and grasping for ‘something’ can develop alongside a sense of not being enough if they did not have this early experience internalized. It’s now on the adult to find a way to fill this hole and learn that they are enough and to be the source of that love for them self. Sadly most continue to look outside themself and it can become a burden on others, distorting love. The person may just isolate themself within as well. Gosh this love thing just seems to get convoluted once we are separate from divine love.

    Oh! Just recalled another wonderful example of real love that can get confused. When our hearts do open in the presence of another and true divine love flows we may think we love that person. To a better trained eye it is just the experience of divine love coming through the person yet you think it’s due to something in your environment, like another person. It’s actually impersonal. I’ve witnessed this and also felt this way myself but while in the presence of someone else who moved real love. I experienced that love flowing from them but I thought I loved that person when in truth I was mentally attributing the experience of LOVE to the person and not it’s real origin within us all at the divine level. That can feel a bit embarrassing. :/. The same can happen with compassion. When we are unaware of the true source of REAL love we attribute it to something or someone near us.

    Gratefully writing this out may have brought me to a new understanding of love. It may be impersonal. I think this is true. We in our ignorance attribute real love to be from each other. I think when it’s real we are lucky to enjoy it with another. I’ve got something to contemplate tonight!

    • Teresa Dietze 15 July 2017 at 9:14 pm #

      Absolutely wonderful, Kelly! Your rubber-hits-the-road examples are lucid and spot-on. And yes, I have certainly been on both ends of that experience of impersonal love, learning to understand what that was only after being both positions.

      I’ve got more commentary about love for next month’s post. It’s as if your comment here added in all the examples I left out. 🙂

      Very well put, and thank you for sharing your insight.


      • Kelly 15 July 2017 at 9:52 pm #

        Well much to my surprise this is what rolled out and it showed me something I knew but not consciously.

        Thank you for always having the courage to bring forth challenging topics. Love is a really twisted, misunderstood near myth in our times.

        That said I wish love upon us all!

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