25 September 2015 2 Comments

Managing Your Energy, Part #63: Being Highly Sensitive & Dealing Closely with Those Who Aren’t

“It is of no use to try and prove to be what in reality you are not.” ~ Inayat Khan

“My bare feet! Step gently on life’s path, lest the thorns lying on the way should murmur at being trampled upon by you.”  ~ Inayat Khan

Self recognition and easier relations with others are the purposes of becoming aware of ones level of development. It is not beneficial to make comparisons with value judgments in mind. Ego must take the back seat so neutral observation can drive. Mind uses contrast to learn
discernment. Meanwhile, heart continues to seek Unity with all beings.

The transition from becoming confused about who we are, over-giving, or disappearing in an attempt to fit in with others to learning how to hold our own internal shape and space during personal interaction can be challenging. The focus changes from seeking external support to sustaining internal sources of support. This growth requires being able to recognize our own experience.

Highly sensitive and intuitive people with comprehensive values are often uncomfortable interfacing closely with people who cannot understand our experience. Clear observation of what an individual actually can and cannot do helps to create reasonable expectations and leads to easier interaction.

These elements tend to be overlooked by those who have not had such experience:

—The ways sensitivity is accommodated by the body, the including super-sensitive nervous, immune and hormonal systems that accompany super-keen sensing
—How hard it can be to arrive at self acceptance, without feeling something is wrong when one is uncomfortable and others do not understand it
—How painful, expensive, and shaming it can be to seek help and be told that nothing is the matter
—That symptoms are often positive adjustments to inner growth while the body and energy systems shift to support accelerated change
—That symptoms with neurological, energy, or karmic elements do not respond to ordinary measures
—How intense it is to be inundated with external energies and impressions
—What it feels like to have a cascade of hormones and emotions secondary to immune system over-activation
—The hugely varied and odd sensations, experiences, and direct perceptions some of us go through, and the unusual capacities that spring from integrating them
—How tiring and overwhelming it can be to process abnormal amounts of incoming information, and to sort what is valid, important, and meaningful from what is not
—The amount of Inner Work it takes to know one’s self well enough to do the above
—The Direct Knowing that can develop from acutely sensitive awareness of energy
—The comprehensive values that develop from having to do so
—What it takes to develop confidence in a world where one is not in the norm
—The discomfort of continually fielding projections, judgments and assumptions from those who do not understand
—How odd it feels to discover one has developed a new capacity or ability in which one has never really believed
—How confusing it can be to feel drawn through compassion to help others, even when doing so may be draining or harmful to one’s self
—How draining and isolating it can be to try to explain these things to people who don’t get it

Communicating these experiences be frustrating—and is often pointless. Someone without similar experience usually does not correctly assimilate or maintain what one tells them. P1140494They reinterpret what one says according to what they can understand, or suggest ways to fix things that are not problems.

Even with compassion for the person doing so, being given “feedback,” from someone who cannot see what is actually going on can be very annoying.

Speaking now for myself: When someone clueless is actively trying to impose their perceptual boxes onto me, and imagine they are talking about ME, I find this disconnect emotionally painful. I can keep my mouth shut, attune to their needs and limitations, take care of my own needs, or withdraw—but I do not feel close, respected, or at ease.

In a capacity of service, I am pleased to adjust myself to someone else’s world. I respect clients as fellow travelers. Being asked to explain and justify myself when I am off duty is work. Spending time by myself is often preferable.

Integrating spirituality into personal life brings up the kind of challenges we’ve been discussing in the last few posts. Stepping into the generosity of global service by sending positive energy to All Beings is a beautiful way to counterbalance the distress I have been describing.

A brand new spiritual dance using the words from a prayer of Inayat Khan showed up in my head recently: “Thy light is in all forms, thy love in All Beings.” This vision helps me move from discomfort back into Love. It exemplifies a profound respect that does not rely on personality.

How do you feel respond when people who cannot comprehend your experience give you advice that does not serve you?

What do you do to maintain respect for those who repeatedly and unwittingly disrespect you?

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2 Responses to “Managing Your Energy, Part #63: Being Highly Sensitive & Dealing Closely with Those Who Aren’t”

  1. Therese 25 September 2015 at 10:33 am #

    In the past, there were so many reactions I had to people who thought they knew how to fix me and spent their time telling me how I was failing to live correctly. Now I think the Illusion that there is a “correct” way to think, live, and act is probably the real problem. The people who try to fit into these molds are never happy ( at least I haven’t met any of the mold seekers who are happy). Living in a space of love for ourselves which, in turn, overflows to others is the only way I know to live, feel healthy, inspire others, and create joy in ours and other’s lives.

    I’ve recently reached a level of understanding for myself that seems to have transformed my world. The hardest part is reconciling my new lack of caring about the Illusion with the external pressure to care about the Illusion. I am noticing abilities arising which are extremely powerful and demand respect from me because they can be so easily misused. I have no desire to misuse anything and a great desire to encourage others to find their own constant connection to Source. I suspect the more people who find what feels like an Illusion busting connection to Source, the more quickly the Illusion will disappear and a world will be born which envelopes love.

    With Love,

    • Teresa Dietze 29 September 2015 at 9:13 am #

      It’s a good point that the people who try to fit into molds are rarely happy.

      This: “The hardest part is reconciling my new lack of caring about the Illusion with the external pressure to care about the Illusion.” is an excellent summary of a complicated process.

      It can be strange and feel oddly straining to understand what it is like to be in the illusion, yet know that the mold seeker cannot resonate with the place one is now standing.

      Yes, the abilities require intention and mastery, because the more powerful one becomes the more care we must take to use that power with respect. Developing power before one develops love can be dangerous to self and others. I believe that power comes naturally once we become authentic and loving.

      I’m not sure how the evolution of the planet works, but the thinning of the veils of illusion is very welcome. The processes that support Awakening are not always gentle.



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